Rappers’ Tongues: A TCM Analysis

Pictured we have lil uziverticus spp. adorned in their stage attire, vibrant and ornate with tongue extended in a manner that seemingly expresses being a bad bitch. Upon further inspection of said tongue we can find a few indications of where disharmony may be present.

First we see that it’s rather pale in color, perhaps signaling an iron/B12 deficiency or less than ideal blood flow of some sort. Maybe we also consider the possibility of slight yang deficiency. Are they known to run on the colder side? It’s uniformity in color lets us know that LU is someone who knows how to express their emotions!

Next we note the thin whitish coating which overall appears healthy and not in excess. We hope this means that LU has healthy gut flora.

Then we take into account the decent moisture level and lack of noticeable cracks which denote healthy internal moisture distribution.

Based on this information, we could suggest that Lil Uzi look to incorporate some of the following:

Herbs: Nettles, Cordyceps, Yellowdock

Foods: Dark Leafy Greens, Beets, Eggs, Oysters

Tongue Analysis allows us to delve into potential longstanding disharmonies as practiced in Traditional Chinese Medicine. It’s fascinating what the tongue can reveal (and also a fun party trick)!